Get outside

When was the last time you went camping? It doesn’t have to be hardcore – there’s every chance your town has a campground (it might be disguised as an RV park, a caravan park, a state park, national park or reserve, or it might be your back yard) where you can pitch a tent and still have easy access to bathrooms and takeaway food.

If you don’t have a tent and no one among your family or friends has one they can lend you, try an outdoor gear or sporting goods store – many will rent you one for the weekend.

Even if you only do it for one night in your back yard, sleeping outdoors, hearing all the outdoor noises, breathing fresh air and waking up with sun can really reinvigorate you and make you feel like you’ve been on an adventure.

Come on a safari with me

Herds of wildebeest sweeping across a Serengeti plain, pods of dolphins frolicking in the wake of a cruise ship, a lone tiger prowling the ruins of Angkor Wat: nature is definitely boring, but it doesn’t have to be that way.

It’s time to inject some excitement into your own portion of the ecosphere. The local park, playing field or hobo-infested wasteland down the road may be low on lions and monkeys, but it’s bound to be chock-a-block with some kind of wildlife. Rabbits! Grasshoppers! Odd wormy things that burrow in your skin and can’t be removed, even with a scalpel! You know why David Attenborough hasn’t made a TV program about your local wildlife? It’s because he’s a big sissy. Slip on a safari suit, borrow your creepy uncle’s binoculars, and let’s see what we can find.

Most wildlife expeditions set out to find a particular animal. It may be overly ambitious to choose a white-cheeked gibbon or a pangolin, so go for something difficult, but realistic: a three-legged dog, perhaps, or a pygmy elephant. Once you find your quarry, photograph and document it in immense detail. Record its behaviour: what does it eat? How does it walk? Does it have territory? Does it socialise with other animals? Remember, this is for posterity! If you can’t find the stupid thing, use the comments section to complain at length about the weather, maps, native guides and any wildlife ‘experts’ whose advice you’ve followed.